When I drive I think alot. Not that I don't think at other times. In fact it is hard to turn my melon off. I think all the time, which means I don't listen enough. I probably think too much. Now this by no means makes me smarter, deeper, or more intellectual. In fact I think part of the reason that I think so much is that I don't necessarily instinctively "know" anything it seems. My brain has to work two or three times harder just to keep up with par. I also have a very active imagination. No not active. Maybe an ADHD imagination. Couple that with a brain on overtime and the result is the equivalent of mental pop rocks. So with that said, try to follow my train of thought....
The other day while I was driving, I began to think. We are at a weird stage in our missions ministry right now. We have just left for our first stint as long term missionaries. We have left all of the people with have spent all of our time with for the last 30 some odd years with, to live full time with people we, in comparative, don't completely know. Life for everyone back home will go on. There are plenty of people to distract them. For us in the future there is the joy of all the new relationships that we will forge and strengthen. But, right now in this moment I feel a aloneness. Cathy and I are no longer surrounded physically by a thick circle of friends and family. Fortunately we have each other to annoy and support. The aloneness that I feel penetrates my soul. Don't get me wrong. This is not a depressive or negative feeling. It is a sobering reminder that we are being called out.
Cathy used to play in her dad's cow pastures outside of Calumet, OK. In those fields, she would sing songs to God. It was in those same fields when Cathy was a small child that she knew that she would be a missionary. Even though she had not accepted Christ yet, God's Spirit was drawing her into his calling for her life. His Love was penetrating her life and her future.
I didn't even think about missions until I took a trip to Mexico in 1996. I went down as a youth leader and returned as a missionary. God's passion for the nations gripped my heart and life from that point on. Before I met Cathy, we were both in Mexico at one point only 45 minutes apart both leading mission trips. In 2003 God joined our passion for missions, when we got married. The flame has continually burned for over 6 years now, on and off the field. Long term deployment on a foriegn field was always something we knew would happen. The when and where were the undetermined variables until recently. Missions (in many different forms) is and will be a large part of our lives. We are called to maintain this course.
So there we were blazing down the highway of into our future, fulfilling the calling God in bearing the yoke placed on our humbled shoulders, and feeling this immense sense of being alone. This didn't seem right. My mind went off, spinning, like a slot machine on meth. Why should there be an aloneness? We have the prayers and support of hordes of friends and families. We have each other. God is with us! The Holy Spirit is here to comfort us and prepare us for ministry! We have God's very Son in our hearts...we have Christ....oh yeah...Christ...the one whole knew "alone" better than anyone...ever.
The answer hit me this morning somewhere between deciding "Hey I am going to write a new blog this morning" and the above paragraph. It is of Christ that there be an aloneness in our lives, if we are truly following in His steps. This is His will. He does not desire for us to be alone. It is a fact check it out in Genesis. There is however times of being called out to a specific work. This calling out process is unique to everyone. The feeling of loneliness lies in the solemn acceptance of God's work. No one knows more of what I am feeling than Christ himself. There is an aloneness that is proper, that is healthy. It is part of the mantle of a calling. Together Cathy and I are alone in God's calling in our life. No one can finish our task or plow our row for us. We have a task that must be completed. Most pastor's can identify this "aloneness". It is the realization of being called out to do the work of the Father.
Now this call a life time of ministry is not exclusive to anyone. Pastors, missionaries, nuns, monks and the pope are not some religious elite that have a higher calling to a life of service. It is God's requirement of all his children. To follow Christ is to follow his path. His tracks lead to the hill of Golgotha, where He was crucified...where we died. Christ's trail picks up again at the entrance of the tomb where He was risen on the third day. It splits into a million trails that reach the darkest corners of the globe. These are the paths our ministries take as we bring his resurrection and message of salvation to the world. All who call Christ savior, have their path to walk, carrying the cross and the empty tomb with them. That means me. That means Cathy. That means you. Have you placed your neck beneath the yoke? Have you began to plow your path? Maybe you have yet to sink into the mud of a freshly plowed path. Maybe you once plowed with passion and endurance, but something convinced you to stop or that you needed a break. Maybe you believe that you don't have the talent, skill, purpose, or ability to pull your plow. My exhortation is the same for everyone. Get up! Rise up! Take your yoke and push forward! You are being called out to do what only you alone can do. Respond with a resplendent yes by leaning into your yoke with passion for your Lover, Savior, Father, and those who He already gave His life for. He is calling out to you. Respond with love. You alone have a mission that you need to complete.
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